Is this the end?

Not putting the time in that I used to...Anyone want to contribute?

Celebrity Favs

 BYU Basketball Star

  "I will have to go with the first floor of the Sab, the athletic administration on the third floor of the Sab. The one by the main entrance of the RB is the best one out of the public bathrooms in the smith and RB. The JFSB is straight, I also like the Marriott school ones. They're solid . There is a hidden gem in the eyring science center on the bottom floor that I think has never been used. I like the spacious and clean ones. I don't like the ones with many stalls. I am a 1-3 stall max. The worst smelling and awful ones are the JSB one with like 6 stalls and also the one in the wilk, but those are nothing compared to the abysmal bathrooms of the men's locker room in the RB and the men's bathroom by the track in the smith field house, the one access from the rugby office."

Founder of J Dawgs

The old Knight Mangum Building (demolished in 2008, was located on the corner of campus right next to J Dawgs). He enjoyed listening to the choir practice in the room next door to the b'room.

Story Series: From the Handicapped Bathroom with Love

There is at least one thing that you can be certain about your life: you will need to use the bathroom every single day. Why live your life in the dumps (no pun intended)? It’s time to add a little bit of luxury to your porcelain cruises. I’m talking about incorporating the handicap bathroom into your daily routine.

There are many pros and cons to using the handicap bathroom as well as a few unwritten rules. There are many who think that handicap bathroom use for the unimpaired is illegal. To those who slate themselves into this category I will calm your nerves through the words of my good buddy Thomas Schmokel, a consultant who helps businesses comply with the Americans with Disabilities Act. Schmokel admits, “Although the blue-signed handicapped parking spaces are legally restricted, there are no laws about who is allowed to use a restroom or stall designated for the handicapped. If there are disabled people around, it’s impolite to use the handicapped restroom or stall ahead of them, but if not, you can use whichever one you want. If you like more room or need a place to hang your newspaper, it’s fine.” There you have it: legal and satisfying.

THE PROS:

1. Handicap bathrooms are legally required to have enough space for a wheelchair to maneuver a 360° turn comfortably. As well, handicap bathrooms usually double as family bathrooms. The result: an enormous bathroom all to yourself. When I’ve had a tough day on campus but I don’t feel like going home I’ll mosey on over to the handicap bathroom on the 2^nd floor of the HBLL and turn it into my home away from home.

2. Privacy – there’s no such thing as an HB (handicap bathroom) without a locking door. If you fall into the class of people who can only begin their bathroom procedure if the restroom is completely empty, these locks are like manna from heaven.

3. The HB is a bathroom for “special/unique individuals,” thus when used properly the HB will endow one with a sense of uniqueness and individuality.

4. HBs are far cleaner than their bathroom counterparts. Why? They are underutilized since many people are not familiar with the rules of HB usage.

5. There is a bar that runs adjacent to the toilet. In situations of extreme duress this bar can be used for added support. It’s also handy for hanging up a jacket or BYU custom knitted scarf.

THE CONS:

1. There seems to be an ignominy in being seen leaving a handicap bathroom. Sadly, since HBs are usually located in highly accessible areas this means that your presence in that bathroom has been noted by pretty much the whole community.

2. While on the accessibility issue it should also be addressed that some HBs have sacrificed privacy for added space. There is an HB on the 2^nd floor of the HBLL that sports a huge grate on the door (the good HB on the 2^nd floor is found right when you come down the main atrium stairs). This grate demolishes any sort of sound barrier. I have a roommate who recently had a very embarrassing encounter with said bathroom. When he walked out everyone in the library was laughing at him.

3. HBs normally have the toilet as far away as possible from the door. For those out of shape, this presents a struggle given the large size of the room.

4. Being that HBs are used one-person-at-a-time  these babies pose a serious threat. Whatever mess, smell, or crude message you left on the wall can be traced immediately back to you.

5. The feeling of guilt when you walk out to see a line of ten people in wheelchairs waiting for you to finish. At that point you regret adding “watch Arrested Development on Hulu” to your list of things to do in the HB.

THE RULES: Rules to using HBs are derived from the pros and cons list.

1. The first rule to adhere to is to make sure you’ve given yourself at least a fifteen-minute window. The last thing you need is for a class or work to disrupt your amazing experience. There’s nothing worse than wishing you had more time. For some reason unknown one loses all sense of time the second that lock is clicked.

2. After locking the door you must take 3 steps in and stop. Admire your surroundings and make plans for how you will lay out all your stuff – you’re going to be there for a while and you want to make sure you’ve decorated properly.

3. If you decide to watch a show on your laptop or put on some tunes make sure the laptop is placed in a location where it won’t fall down. Once you sit down you’ve lost all agility to save it from a tumble.

4. If/When someone comes and tries the door only to find it locked you are not required to yell, “Somebody is in here!” The moron who keeps on shaking the handle will eventually realize it’s occupied. If someone does continue to try the door for a while you’re allowed to utter a silent prayer that the lock will hold.

5. When leaving the bathroom one must walk with purpose and confidence while making sure not to make eye contact with anyone who saw them leave. Before leaving, make sure no incriminating evidence has been left behind (con #4).

Deciding to incorporate HBs into your life and adhering to these rules is the beginning of an exciting new path. I can promise an immediate increase in your physical stature, mentality, spirituality, and overall well being.

-Thanks to Matt Butters for this 

#13 The Tallest of the Toilets (SWKT Floors 3-11)

Oh Mr. SWKT, you look down on us, you give us a nice view, you house the social sciences, you have so many bathrooms. This is a review of the tiny, but charming bathrooms from the 3rd floor to the 11th. They are surprisingly not all exactly the same. They are often shaped differently, some have closets, others have full-length mirrors, and there are brown and black doors. 

Here are samples of the four tile schemes present: 

This is a typical men's room. The majority of the bathrooms follow this layout with a few exceptions. Notice the poorly placed garbage can. 

Here's the typical sink found in the b'rooms that have been remodeled in the last decade or so. Its a semi-nice faux granite. No automation to speak of in the SWKT. 

Here is an example of the brown door variety. 

Despite the blue tile, this is the 11th floor women's, aka Queen of the SWKT Bathrooms. There actually is not a men's on that floor. I asked a janitor why that was they she told me that that was the biggest mystery of the building's bathrooms.  To me though, the biggest mystery is what are the bathrooms like in the fabled and forbidden 12th floor?

But what's this in the 11th floor women's? A shower curtain. Well, there must be a shower.

Our suspicions are confirmed. There is a shower in this bathroom for unknown reasons. Complete with a used bar of soap. 

There's even lockers for you change of clothes. Who uses these?

Go or no?

Unzip the fly in the sky -

Cleanliness - 

Decor - 

Location - 

Traffic - Low

Overall - 

Story Series: April Fool's

Once upon a time in my rebellious stage of life (aka 8th grade) I pulled an April Fool's Prank on my entire middle school. My friends and I got a couple tubes of icy hot and rubbed it on the toilet seats. The clear gel was impossible to see, but definitely noticeable after a few seconds on the pot. We left a couple of stalls around the school free from turmoil but news spread quickly and word got out that I was in charge. Me being the silly little mormon girl I am, freaked out and turned myself in before more damage was done. Due to my clear history I was sentenced to cleaning it all up with the janitor after school. Still pretty funny watching people come out of the bathroom and looking confused.


-Thanks to Mallory C for the story 


Email jesse@byubathrooms.com to submit your awkward/funny/moving bathroom story that happened here at BYU

Campus Champion!!

Congratulations to the Harold B. Lee Library! 

Officially the best bathrooms on campus as voted by you!

Stay tuned for when the bathroom concert will be held...

BYU Bathrooms March Madness

CHAMPIONSHIP!

Welcome to the BYU Bathrooms March Madness Bracket! 

We already did a bunch of the work for you and eliminated bathrooms from all over campus to get it down to the Sweet 16 of campus johns. Now, show your loo loyalty! Which water closet goes on to each of the next rounds of the big dance is up to you. The voting is by building not individual bathroom, so choose carefully those buildings with the best porcelain and help them towards the Campus Championship! 

So, tweet, comment, post, email, +1, etc. your picks during the dates listed for each round and we will keep track of the winners and losers. Good luck and may the best bathroom win!

*SPOILER ALERT* 

Our champion lavatory will be chosen to host (sometime in the next two months) a live concert featuring a local up-and-coming band!

Congrats to Our Give Away Winner

Here is Daniel. He likes bathrooms here at BYU. Because of that, he walked away with a completely full bottle of hand sanitizer. Harold smiles in approval. 

#12 Slytherin Common Room Bathroom (Maeser Building, Basement)

Have you ever had a reason to go to the Maeser Building?  Me neither…  That is, until I heard rumors of a charming place called the honors reading room bathroom.  Situated directly next to honors reading room (Which, by the way, would not look out of place in Hogwarts, probably as the Slytherin common room, judging from the pretentious-looking people I saw studying there), this hidden treasure is sure to tickle your fancy.  

When I walked in, I noticed two things:  First, the stall doors are made of WOOD, probably some fancy tropical variety or something, but I have no idea.  They’re nice though.  Second, the dividers are made of MARBLE.  Not metal, not plastic, not glass, but freakin’ marble!    Basically, after I saw that, I knew I was in for a real treat.  Anyways, this bathroom is pretty swell.  There’s a full-body mirror (with a wood frame, no less), plus a shelf that looks sturdy enough to hold at least 83 percent of the leather-bound tomes from the reading room next door.  The only knock on this bathroom is that the sinks are ridiculously narrow.  It is literally impossible to fit your hands under the faucet.  So, when I left, I only washed my fingertips.  I can only assume that everyone else does the same.  That means the door handle is probably covered with germs, so watch out.  Overall, though, this bathroom provides a truly otherworldly experience by BYU bathroom standards.  It may be out of the way, but it’s worth at least one visit.

 Wood doors, marble dividers… this bodes well.

A well-placed shelf.  Could be used for sitting and sleeping if you are a midget, maybe as storage space for normal-sized people.

The lone flaw… BYU’s most inconveniently-sized sink.  Cool plumbing fixture at the bottom almost makes up for it, though.

A trio of urinals.  Due to lack of traffic, no two have ever been used simultaneously, so I don’t know why they need those marble dividers.  They look cool, though.

The larger of the two stalls.  Once again, take note of the marble dividers.  Doing your business here makes you feel like royalty.

The full-size mirror.  When I first saw it, I assumed that I had accidentally entered the women’s bathroom because men’s bathrooms never have nice extras like this.

Last but not least, the view from the porcelain throne.  You can trace wood grains while you poop!

Go or no?

Magical Hogwarts-ian Charm -

Cleanliness - 

Decor - 

Location - 

Traffic - Low

Overall - 

-Thanks to Sampo Hynynen for this review